Bruised

Bruised

I've always wanted to protect her. Ever since that first second she needed it. Even more when she says she doesn't. I find myself always looking behind me to see if she's still ok. I get nervous when I'm not around her because I don't know what's going on or who she's with.
When ever there's any sort of conflict, I just feel the need to push her behind me and shield her with my body. Whether that conflict is physical or emotional it doesn't matter I just want to prevent the pain.
She's been threw so much as it is. She lost her family, lost her friend –though they made their way back into her life, somehow- she's been accused of something she never did, disowned by soul society. I'm not sure how much more her little body can take until it just starts to break down.
If everyone wore their emotional pain like their physical, I'm sure; she would be covered in bruises from head to toe. Large ones for the big emotion strains I couldn't prevent, and the small ones that hurt just a bad. I'm sure I'd be the cause behind some of them. I'd only hope none of the larger ones; I wouldn't be able to live with myself.
I hate it when I can't protect her. It makes me so angry, not with her but with myself. Almost like I wasn't good enough, or quick enough, or clever enough or what kills me the most strong enough.
Every step I've taken to get stronger was for her. Every step I will take to get stronger will be for her as well. I don't think I would ever tell her that though. If I did, I'd probably hurt someone, or her, or myself.
She seems so fragile to me, though I know she's not. The life that she's been living taught her to be tough. It has tough her to not show weaknesses or pain, though sometimes I wish she would, to give me a chance to fix it. I know that she would tell me that whatever it was was no big deal and to just let it go, but then another bruise would be added to her small body.
Not matter how hard I try I can't seem to get it right. I end up pushing her away and adding to the bruises. Those deep colored patches of skin; all of them just covering her skin. The thought of it makes my heart wrench and stomach clench.
She reminds me of my mother a lot. Tough when she needs to be but always followed by that same air of gentility. A smile I would kill for, just to see for a moment, not even a long one. When I'm in her arms, though I've only been in them once or twice, I feel safe and secure; like nothing can touch me.
Sometimes I wish my mother would've met her. She would have loved her as much as I do….do I really love her? I suppose I do. I promise to protect her and everything I do is to make her happy. And she does make me happy without even having to do something. When I'm not around her I feel lonely even if I'm surrounded by people. So yeah, you're the first to hear it, my newest revelation; I love her.
I guess it was a long time coming. She's always been there, from the beginning that is. Always silently watching and waiting for her time to protect me. She's never let me down, ever.
This is all spur of the moment really. I'm just waiting for her at our favorite spot. She's coming back today; coming home is more like it. Coming home to me at least. Even if she doesn't think of me as her home she's mine.
She went away to visit her family, apparently something went wrong and she needed to be there to talk to a doctor or something, I really didn't know. I found out she was leaving from her best friend. Said girl playfully punched my arm and told me I should really talk to her more and find out where she goes.
I smiled and laughed with her acting like I didn't mind she never told me she was going, but in reality I was wondering if I upset her. To tell you the truth haven't seen her in a while, well I've seen her I just haven't been able to talk to her. Finals are coming up and all the studying and hollow business has really taken its toll on my personal life.
She sent a letter telling everyone when she'd be back. That letter got to me after all else as instructed by her. I'm not sure why but it kind of hurt. The portion of the letter written to me only said. "I'll be back in town by sunset, wait for me?" only I knew that she meant our spot.
Our "spot" was along the river, near the big bridge, on a grassy hill. A cherry tree was planted there to commemorate the death of someone who had been killed maybe fifty years back and there was always a purple ribbon tied around the trunk no matter what.
I remember the first time we were here. She smiled and pointed to the cute little letter attached to the bow. It said "Kiki, I'll always think of you, always remember you and always love you." She oohed and awed at it and triumphantly declared this to be "our spot."
At the time I just rolled my eyes but kept my mouth shut. I'm so glad I did because now we always have a place for just us.
The sun was setting and the sky flushed orange and red. I thought of the old rhyme my dad told me when I was younger "Red skies at night, sailors delight. Red skies in the morning, sailors take warning." I hoped selfishly that the sky would apply to me too.
"Ichigo?" a timid voice asked from the steps to my left.
I turned my head and there she stood with a wide smile on her peach colored cheeks, her long locks being tousled by the slight wind. The women that I loved more than oxygen itself.
"Sorry I'm late." She continued. She sounded like my mother all those years ago, yet another reason that I love her.
"Orihime." I smiled brightly at her. "She told me that you'd be back today."
"Did she?" she grinned.
"Yup." I laughed. "What took you?"
"Nothing important." She shrugged. "Ready to go?" she held her hand out to me and I pushed myself off the ground.
"I'm glad your home." I took her hand. "Rukia."